Happiness in the Workplace:  Making it Yours

We’ve spent this year exploring happiness in the workplace.  I hope I’ve been successful in giving you different ways of looking at and understanding happiness and how you can appreciate the ways it can manifest in your life.  When it comes to your own happiness, here is a summary of opportunities to consider…

 Conditions for Happiness

It’s difficult to nail down the conditions for happiness.  You may think you know what they are, but those conditions are changing all the time:  we think happiness requires having the right things, including the right circumstances and the right people.  I might think that chocolate chip cookies will make me very happy, but if I eat too many at one sitting, or too many over time, I may find myself very unhappy!  So what seems to make us happy at one time may make us unhappy at another.

When it comes to happiness, you may also think that what you are feeling is real, substantial and true, and that you are entitled to your happiness.  The problem you may encounter is that you expect to be happy, and when you are happy, you want our happiness to continue forever.  At some level you know that maintaining happiness indefinitely is impossible, but you may wish for it anyway.  And when circumstances change, and what you call happiness is compromised, you are likely to be hurt, angry and disappointed.

 But what if you saw happiness differently?  What if you realized that the way you’ve defined real happiness is too limited?  What if you understood that there can be circumstantial happiness, but that happiness can also be a way of appreciating the world, regardless of what happens from one moment to the next?  And if you opened yourself to the possibility that paradoxically happiness can come and go, but it can also be the way you choose to view your life, how would your life be different?  The difference is that you would recognize that you have a choice about being happy or not…

 Choosing Our View of Life

Chances are there are times when you are just plain miserable, and you can’t seem to get yourself out of your unhappiness at work.  It does no good to beat up on yourself and say you shouldn’t be dejected and you should be making yourself feel better.  That approach generally just makes you more depressed.  You can become depressed when you choose to dwell in your misery too long, and only you can determine when it’s time to move out of this narrow prison of dejection and open up to what is a wider picture of what is going on.

 I generally start pointing out to myself that I’m sick of feeling sorry for myself, and I begin to open up to what is happening right here, right now:  someone smiles or tells a funny story, I go outside and notice the beauty of the day, I call a friend who is struggling.  I know the kinds of things that can shift my perspective and help me see the world in a more open and expansive way.  With just a little effort, I begin to experience gratitude for my life (which is a huge part of my own happiness), and I try to remember to open my perspective when I begin to feel sad.  Taking these steps reminds me that happiness can be fragile, and it can also be the way I choose to experience the world and include others in it.

 Happiness is an Inside Job

Finally, I begin to realize that when I’m not happy, I blame lots of things outside myself for my condition:  the weather, a friend, a lost contract, too much to do, and so on.  But if I’m honest with myself, I begin to realize that the way I choose to see my world—what’s working, what’s not working, my expectations, my disappointments, my desires—is really up to me.  I can choose to ruminate about all the things I can’t control (which is just about everything)—or I can realize that many of those things will pass, and that I can choose to obsess on their temporary nature, or I can broaden my perspective and appreciate what “is.”  I can notice the gloomy, humid weather, and I can also note the tropical feel of the air and all the things that are blooming; I can note that I’m sending out this ezine past schedule, and I can also appreciate that I have the opportunity through my creativity, my computer, and the internet, to share my thoughts with lots of people who are interested in what I have to say!  The challenge is not whether I can stop thinking about the “bad” things and only think of the “good” things, but whether, in my heart and mind I can embrace all of it.  It’s not easy to do, because life can be demanding and difficult.  But when I learn to hold all of it, I can rejoice in the richness that life offers, easy and hard, beautiful and ugly, satisfying and disappointing.  When you learn to embrace all of it, especially in the workplace, then you’ll know what happiness truly is for you.